Home Schooling In The 50's (Humor)

My mother taught me religion
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My father taught me about time travel.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My father provided clarification to all my philosophical inquiries.
"Because I said so, that's why ."

My mother explained the importance of maintaining good health.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me how to dress appropriately.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My father taught me how to be emotionally resilient.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me stamina.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother provided me with an example of hypocrisy.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

My father taught me about the circle of life.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother on behavior modification.
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about other children worse off.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

My mother helped me understand how stress and anxiety can affect someone.
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My father inspired me to live life to the fullest in the present in much the same way.
"Just wait till we get home!"

My father taught me to stand on my own.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me about genetics.
"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about wisdom.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

My father was so proud of me he once said...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"