News Flash: It's Cold Out

No matter whether it's CNN, WFMZ, WPIX, FOX, MSNBC, WPHL, WPVI, WCAU, WTXF, KYW, MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC or any other radio, TV station or newspaper they all report over and over again it's cold.

I kinda figured that out on my own.
Not only that but it was dark out too.
     Why aren't they reporting that!!


Every night and day it's the same thing no matter where I turn, for 20 minutes out of the hour we get the weather. Here's something I come to learn over the years, In the Winter it gets cold. Sometimes it even snows. Imagine that!

The reason I turn on the news is to get news... not the weather. Yeah I'm kind of funny that way.

Take your typical newscast. About 10 minutes of each half hour is filled with ads. Another 5 minutes of sports. 5 minutes of puff pieces and at least 5 minutes of weather. That leaves only 5 minutes for actual news. Sometimes even most of those five minutes are eaten up by reporters news celebrities freezing their tooshies off next to a salt pile or along side the snowiest street they come across..

It takes 4 years in college, lots of luck and another 10 years to land a job in a major news market. This cost TV stations a lot of money. May I suggest instead TV producers give a couple of homeless people a camera and a microphone and let them report on the weather. They have far more experience and expertise when it comes to reporting on homeless shelters and street reporting in the Winter anyway. After all they're the real experts when it comes to this, no?

Better yet, maybe the newscasts should be cancelled like the schools and businesses since they obviously don't have intentions of reporting the news in bad weather anyway.

Never mind.
Last night after channel surfing I already cancelled them by turning off the TV and going to bed. It was a better use of my time :-)

This Guy Got Problems

 A weary-looking man walks into a bar and slumps onto a stool. He signals the bartender and says, “Give me six double brandies.”

The bartender raises an eyebrow. “That’s a lot of booze. Rough day?”

The man sighs heavily. “You could say that… I just found out my father is gay.”

The bartender nods sympathetically and pours the drinks.

The next day, the same man walks in, looking even worse. He sits down and orders six more double brandies.

The bartender frowns. “You again? What happened now?”

The man groans, rubbing his temples. “I just found out my son is gay too.”

The bartender gives him a concerned look but pours the drinks anyway.

On the third day, the man stumbles back in, completely defeated. Without a word, he holds up six fingers.

The bartender crosses his arms and sighs. “Let me guess… another family revelation?”

The man nods miserably. “Yeah. Turns out my brother is gay too.”

The bartender leans in, now genuinely curious. “Man… does anyone in your family like women?”

The man downs a shot, slams the glass on the counter, and mutters, “Yeah… my wife.”

Who's Left To Do The Work (HUMOR)

Population of the USA-is around 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.
Well it ain't going to be me... I just decided to retire.
:-)

And here you are, sitting on your ass,
at your computer, reading jokes.

Better Get Busy!
~

How To Identify Birds

You're Born Male Or Female Only.. WRONG!

Trump seems to think like a simpleton. Thus he signed a bill designating there can only be babies born either male or female and doctors are operating on babies changing their sex. WRONG!

This is what happens when uneducated people ascend to power. 

Never Thought A Lot About Oysters, But...

Repost

July 10, 2021


August 20, 2017

I'll admit I'm not a oyster fan. I'll only eat some about once a year in a can of Campbell's oyster stew. The last time I tried ordering them at an oyster bar I gave up trying to pry these suckers open. Even if I succeeded they reminded me of swallowing slime. Not too sure I want to eat the pollution they feed on. Especially given the reference they are "the kidneys of the bay". Not very appetizing to me.

Nonetheless the value of them to the environment is far more then I imagined.