I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds.
People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers.
Now they drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?
That's common sense leaving your body.
I didn't make it to the gym today.
That makes five years in a row.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.
We haven't met yet.
Old age is coming at a really bad time for me.
"I need to write things down, so I'll remember them."
(I wrote that one down a week ago to remind myself , but forget where I put it.)
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
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