A man needs to be:
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring booze
2. Bring booze
A Blog About Anything & Everything.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
HUMOR: How 2 Make A Woman Happy
Reposted From: January 15, 2010
A man needs to be:
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
A man needs to be:
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
Friday, February 1, 2013
Some Thoughts About Dead Chickens, Booze, & Guns
Over the last few days as some of the following news stories unfolded I had a few thoughts come to mind.
Over the Super Bowl weekend 'The National Chicken Council' estimates that 1.23 billion chicken wings will be eaten. In other words we will slaughter 615 million birds just to feed football fans for 2 days. It's estimated that 269 chickens are killed per second (23 million per day). That works out to about 8.39 billion per year.
Is it a great deal for consumers and the taxpayers?
THE TAXPAYERS:
Pennsylvania's Liquor Control Board states that about $105,000,000 is transferred to the General fund annually and another $26,504,567 is contributed to other agencies annually. This totals up to $131,504,567 million As you can plainly see in just a little over 7 years the PLCB would have generated nearly $1 billion on it's own without changing anything.
THE CONSUMER
The prices for these newly created licenses would range from $60,524 to $722,947. My beer distributor told me it would cost him around $2 million between the license, inventory and building addition to house hard liquor. If he doesn't he expects his sales to go down at least 30% once beer is sold nearly everywhere around his location. He said he absolutely can not afford it. So it kind of looks like he wasted his $750,000 life savings investment he made only 2 years ago.
Consumers may see this as greater convenience, but there's no way prices are going to remain what they are currently after a new location spends from $60k to more then $700k to obtain a license, a ID scanner system + renovations.
Currently beer distributors specialize only in beer sales. Some carry over 200 brands. The current liquor stores stock a huge selection of liquor and wines. Does anyone really believe that customers will pay less or have the selections they do now if/after this goes through? I doubt it.
Sean Hannity flatly stated on his program numerous times (including this past Thursday night) where there are more guns there is less crime. Tell that to Chicago, Philadelphia, Detroit or nearly any other major urban area. If we apply that logic world wide, why wouldn't Baghdad or Kabul be the two safest cities?
On the other hand in the United Kingdom, which has one of the toughest gun control laws there were only .04 gun homicides per 100,000 in 2011. In the United States it was 3.6 per 100,000. That's 90x's more then England. Overall deaths that were attributed to firearms in the United Sates is over 40x's more then it is in the United Kingdom!
If you check out the list in that link I provided, you will notice the United States has more deaths attributed to guns then 65 other currently peaceful nations.
While I certainly don't have great answers for gun violence, I am absolutely certain more guns isn't the answer to reducing crime. Neither is ignoring other possible ways. Why not make gun owners more responsible for crimes committed by their firearms if they fail to report them missing or stolen?
HUMOR: How To Avoid The Flu
Eat right. Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies. Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system. Walk for at least an hour a day, and go for a swim.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air. Open doors & windows whenever possible.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
Get plenty of rest.
Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system. Walk for at least an hour a day, and go for a swim.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air. Open doors & windows whenever possible.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
Get plenty of rest.
~OR~
Take your doctor's approach.
Think about it... When you go for a shot, what do they do first? They clean your arm with alcohol...Why? Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
So.......
I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
I put lime in my Corona...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then pass out. (rest)
The way I see it... If you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you!
Think about it... When you go for a shot, what do they do first? They clean your arm with alcohol...Why? Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
So.......
I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
I put lime in my Corona...(fruit)Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then pass out. (rest)
The way I see it... If you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you!
My grandmother always said, "A shot in the glass beats one in the ass!"
HUMOR: 20 FAQ's
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
20. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
Booze Crackdown In Australia
Reposted From: October 6, 2009
It's always been a big problem with beer drinking racing fans getting all slopped up before, during and after the race.
Now according to the BBC, Australia is finally putting their foot down and taking a firm stance.
Later this week the "Bathhurst 1000" will be run and the police are optimistic the new strict rules will reduce alcohol related violence they've had at prior races.
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There getting tough.. only 24 cans of beer per person will be allowed on race day!
Well actually you could drink 36 cans if they have a lower alcohol content then the 'regular' beer.
Same goes for you wine drinkers. Only 4 liters a day for you.
It's always been a big problem with beer drinking racing fans getting all slopped up before, during and after the race.
Now according to the BBC, Australia is finally putting their foot down and taking a firm stance.
Later this week the "Bathhurst 1000" will be run and the police are optimistic the new strict rules will reduce alcohol related violence they've had at prior races.
Well actually you could drink 36 cans if they have a lower alcohol content then the 'regular' beer.
Same goes for you wine drinkers. Only 4 liters a day for you.
No word if you can combine the two?
HUMOR: Old Man's Birthday
Two old guys were chatting.....
One said to the other:
"My 69th birthday was yesterday.
The wife gave me SUV".
BILL responded:
"Wow, that's amazing!
Imagine, an SUV!
What a great gift!"
BOB:
"Yup.... Socks, Underwear and Viagra."
One said to the other:
"My 69th birthday was yesterday.
The wife gave me SUV".
BILL responded:
"Wow, that's amazing!
Imagine, an SUV!
What a great gift!"
BOB:
"Yup.... Socks, Underwear and Viagra."
Aphorisms
A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH
The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid Of the dark to become a teenager who wants To stay out all night?
No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.
I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
After 70, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!!
He who rides bicycle and flies up-side-down have crack up!
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