Repost
(Satire)Way back when I was a young pup and still wet behind the ears (in 1966) these are some of the things I said or might have said before I became a fan of history in my latter years.Jan 1st - All US cigarette packs have to carry "Caution Cigarette smoking may be hazardous to your health"Damned I never looked at the 35 cent pack when I whipped out a cig back then.
Jan 12th - LBJ says US should stay in South Vietnam until communist aggression endsNow I'd say..Glad that didn't happen or we'd still be there.
Jan 16th - Metropolitan Opera House opens in Lincoln CenterAt 18 I'd probably would have said where's that in Washington? What's opera?
Jan 29th - Snow storm in north east US kills 165Yippee snow day.. off from school.
Feb 11th - SF Giant Willie Mays signs highest contract, $130,000 per yearOMG, that's way too much money.
Feb 25th - Syrian military coup under Hafiz al-AssadI hope things settle down over there.
Mar 2nd - 215,000 US soldiers in VietnamOh shit, I'm 1-A
Mar 6th - Barry Sadlers' "Ballad of the Green Berets" becomes #1 (13 weeks) Yeah but did ya hear "Strawberry Fields Forever" reached #8?
Mar 15th - Racial riots erupt in the Watts section of Los AngelesHuh? Even bears don't crap in their own backyard.
Mar 17th - US sub locates missing H-bomb in MediterraneanWhat's that doing over there in the first place?
Mar 18th - Scott Paper begins selling paper dresses for $1Note to self.. take a walk on a rainy day.
Mar 24th - Selective Service announces college deferments based on performanceDoes this mean only dummies like me...
Mar 29th - Muhammad Ali beats George Chuvalo in 15 for heavyweight boxing titleHey does this mean Cassius Clay doesn't have to go either? WTF!
Mar 31st - 25,000 anti war demonstrators march in NYCStay out of 'Watts', it's a mess out there
May 16th - Beach Boys' "Pets Sounds" is releasedNever heard of it.
May 21st - "Downtown" by Mrs Miller hits #82What a voice.
May 28th - "Ballad Of Irving" by Frank Gallop hits #34What's he gay or what?
May 30th - 300 US airplanes bomb North VietnamYadda, yadda another typical day. Will that end it so I don't have to go?
Jun 6th - NFL & AFL announce their mergerDoes this mean lower salaries and ticket prices?
Jun 10th - Mamas & Papas win gold record for "Monday, Monday"Damn I thought Cass Elliot would look a lot sexier judging by her voice.
Jun 13th - Supreme Court's Miranda decision; suspect must be informed of rightsWell I guess it's better then cops shooting them first.
Jul 1st - Medicare goes into effectYeah. I sure hope this will pay 100% of my medical expenses when I get to be an old fart..
Jul 4th - LBJ signs Freedom of Information ActThank goodness. Now we'll know everything the government is up to.
Jul 5th - NYC transit fare rises from 15 cents to 20 centsThat's crazy. How much higher can they go?
Jul 29th - Bob Dylan hurt in motorcycle accident near Woodstock NYGod's sake, I hope this doesn't affect his singing voice speech patterns..
Jul 30th - US airplanes bombs demilitarized zone in VietnamKind of silly calling it a "demilitarized zone", no?
Aug 6th - US citizens demonstrate against war in VietnamKind of makes sense since "illegals" don't have to go, right?
Aug 20th - Beatles pelted with rotten fruit during Memphis concertWhat the Hell? Who were these ticket holders expecting to show up, Ted Nugent?
Aug 22nd - Beatles arrive in NYCHope New Yorkers have better sense then to waste perfectly good fruit.
Aug 27th - Race riot in Waukegan, IllinoisGod sakes. This is like the 10th one this year. Hope this ends the problem for once and all.
Sep 8th - "Star Trek" premieres on NBC-TVIt's a keeper!
Sep 11th - France performs nuclear test at Muruora Island12th one this year so far. What is it yet scientists don't know?
Sep 11th - Rolling Stones perform on Ed Sullivan ShowI couldn't hear them. Too many screaming girls hot for sexy looking Mick I suppose.
Sep 22nd - Only 413 show up at a Yankee Stadium gameWho cares. They still have those network broadcast contracts.
Sep 24th - France performs nuclear test at Fangataufa IslandWhat we're still too stupid to know what these bombs will do?
Sep 30th - USSR performs underground nuclear testKeep going until we crack the Earth, poison the water and/or be able to annihilate the human race 10x's over.
Oct 4th - France performs nuclear test at Muruora IslandSEE ABOVE
Oct 14th - 175 US airplanes bomb North VietnamStill at it I see.
Nov 6th - 1st entire lineup televised in color (NBC) Damn the peacock network. Wish I had a color TV. Seems only the rich can afford them.
Nov 8th - Movie actor Ronald Reagan elected Governor of CaliforniaThis guy ain't going nowhere.
Nov 24th - The Beatles began recording sessions for "Sergeant Pepper"Who's this Sergeant Pepper"?
Dec 28th - China performs nuclear test at Lop Nor, PRCMerry Christmas. Last test of the year. Wonder if Iran will ever get one and where they'll test it?
Dec 30th - The cult classic "One Million Years B.C.", starring Raquel Welch, is releasedGotta love history. Who the hell knew babes back then looked like that!
Source for the above:
'History Orb'
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