Thursday, November 2, 2017

Latest Fake News (SATIRE)

Keep in mind none of this may be true but I heard... *** Renovations in the East Room at the Whitehouse could be completed as early as next week for use by FOX News as two new studios for hosting 'Hannity' and 'Fox And Friends'

*** Allentown mayor's attorney is asking the courts to dismiss the 54 counts filed against his client. In return promising his client will testify against the mayor's former campaign manager and his accusers. In addition promising a significant amount of money would be donated towards future campaigns for unnamed federally elected officials.

*** President Trump--after his return from Asia--is planning to host a dinner at the Whitehouse. Guests include Senators Corker, McCain. Jake Tapper (CNN). Rachael Maddow (MSNBC) and Bob Acosta (CNN) and former President Obama. Others guests not yet confirmed include Rosie O'Donnell, John Stewart and late show host Stephen Colbert. The mayor of San Juan, Carmen Yulín Cruz is also expected to be in attendance. The menu includes raw fish and cold mushroom soup with side dish of raw unwashed fruits and vegetables from the Whitehouse garden personally picked by the president himself.

*** Rumors are swirling that Hillary years ago once turned down both Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin for a date. This same unnamed source claims Obama whooped Donald in several rounds of golf several years ago. Donald and Vladimir each promised there would be no hard feelings but some are left wondering if either ever got over their rejections.

*** A recent survey of Allentown voters shows overwhelming support for write-in candidate Harry Clay Trexler. When shown he has been dead for years they still feel he'd do a better job running the city.

*** Current odds among professional betters the Cedar Pool will make it through the winter and be ready to open on time next year are 3 to 1 against it without some additional work.

*** Local taxpayers are thrilled millions of local and state dollars are being used to build a fish tank in Easton. Others would prefer tax dollars be used for further expansion of the NIZ projects in Allentown. However overall consensuses is the dollars would be better spent for more bike trails rather then infrastructure repairs such as bridges and updating underground utility pipelines No matter what other choices were offered deficit reduction came in at the bottom of the taxpayer survey.

*** There was a bill introduced into congressional committee the Whitehouse should be renamed and painted either red or blue depending which of either party won the election as a way of reminding people which was in charge. No word yet if a 3rd party should ever win. Some suggested in that case painting it both red and blue (all inclusive). Still other insists it should remain white. Kinda like it always was throughout history.

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